The stars can’t shine without darkness

I am stealing this story from a Facebook post that my wife posted earlier this week. I promise to keep my stories original and from my own personal heart. But this one right here touched my soul. It’s about love, challenges, heartache, and the Bouncing Souls. Oh, and speaking of the souls, on the bottom of this post is a screenshot of the text Bonnie mentions in her story.


“Last night I started dating this guy…

This may be confusing to those of you who know that I have been a married woman for almost 11 years now, but allow me to explain. In the spirit of being transparent I am going to share with you a glimpse of a REAL life love story. It isn’t pretty. It isn’t wrapped up neatly in a bow…in fact, at times it’s a complete and utter mess.

I would like to start by saying that mental illness is the devil. And I mean this with all my heart. It destroys not only the person who has it, but it destroys relationships and families as well. Adam has recently opened up publicly about his diagnosis which is why I feel comfortable sharing this.

The last few months have been a rollercoaster of emotions, highs and lows, ups and downs, laughter and tears. 2 steps forward, 1 step back…I suppose it’s all par for the course though. No one said it would be easy.

This being said, on Monday night I packed my bags, left my wedding rings on the dresser, and ran away from home…I found a quaint little Air BnB in Ramona on a horse farm where I spent the week reflecting on my marriage and what I wanted the future to bring. While I was gone, Adam also had time to reflect…I wish that I could say that we’ve come up with a perfect plan, one that is guaranteed not to fail, but we haven’t.

What we have concluded though is this…one thing we have never denied is that WE LOVE EACH OTHER. Our love may not be the same as it was 13 years ago, and I don’t necessarily think that is a bad thing because WE aren’t the same as we were 13 years ago, the dynamic of our relationship has changed, we have responsibilities now, bigger bills to pay, and children who need our constant and undivided attention. It’s a different kind of love for sure, but certainly not less of a love.

So what are we going to do to repair the damage that this disease has caused? Are we too far gone or is there a light at the end of this tunnel? I suppose only time will tell, but I will say this…after last night I was able to see that the hopeless romantic I married 10 years ago is still there.

The Bouncing Souls have always been a major inspiration in our marriage. We met at a Bouncing Souls show in January 2006…A show in which I may or may not have stalked Adam and declared to make him mine that night…that following December the Souls played at the House of Blues in Atlantic City…at the time my favorite song was “Lean on Sheena” (a cover song that the Souls cover oh so perfectly)…much to my surprise in the middle of the show an announcement was made by Greg (lead singer from the Souls) as he directed the crowd’s attention to Adam by saying, ” this next song is for our friends, Bonnie and Adam, who are about to share a very special moment…” surrounded by 2300 strangers (and a group of our closest friends/family) Adam slipped a ring on my finger as the band led into my favorite song. 17 months later we were married.

Last night the Bouncing Souls came to San Diego…maybe it was destiny, but as always their timing was perfect. We had friends here visiting from AZ so despite my mood being in a slight funk from the events that took place earlier this week, I decided to still go to the show and make the best of it.

Well it turns out that Adam had been texting Pete from the Souls all day long leading up to the show…and once again, a subtle but sweet dedication was made by the Bouncing Souls for Adam and I as they led into my song “Lean on Sheena.”

Yes, that hopeless romantic I married 10 years ago is still in there…somewhere.

We have declared that this disease will NOT define Adam, and it WILL NOT tear this family apart. Although I am still not ready to put my wedding rings back on…this does not mean that we are getting divorced and we are not separated, we are simply hitting the restart button on our marriage. Some of you may notice an Enzo band on my ring finger when you see me next…this is a “place holder” for when I am ready to put the real ones back on but for right now…I am back to dating the man I fell in love with 13 years ago. Last night was the perfect 1st date…here’s to many more!

Cheers, friends! Thanks for listening.”


“I saw you from across the street today

My heart skipped a beat today

Reminding me of those lost days

And glory never fades

Years passed by and you remind me

Those things will always find me

Young hearts are made of gold that never fades away

Never fades, fades away

I heard someone say

That nothing gold can stay

But there’s a love in all our souls

And it shines like gold”

-The Bouncing Souls

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