Category: Uncategorized

love, sex, and relationships

This was from an article I found somewhere. I cannot take credit. I just thought it was an interesting read.

Love

Love is a difficult concept to define. It is usually referred to as an emotion and has also been described as a behavior. Both are accurate. If you experienced the emotion love it goes to reason that you would behave accordingly. Nearly everyone agrees that there are different types of love, as expressed to different people. There is love for a child, parent, sibling, friend, and significant other. We will concern ourselves only with love between partners. According to social psychologist Robert Sternberg, there are four types of love in relation to partners. The three components to these types of love can be thought of in terms of the points of a triangle to better illustrate.

The three components of love are intimacy, which can be described as infatuation and a strong desire to be close, and commitment, for which I believe most readers know the definition. Combining the points of the triangle result in the types of love.

Intimacy combines with passion results in romantic love. This is what most partners experience in the beginning of a relationship, and it is usually energizing and exciting. Intimacy combined with commitment results in companionate love. This is what many relationships become over time. The partners are comfortable with one another, have an extensive history together, know each Motherwell, and are committed to the relationship. There may likely be an absence of passion.

Having all three passion or infatuation combined with commitment results in fatuous love. This is the result of getting swept up in passion and committing to a long-term commitment without really knowing the person.

Consummate love is when all three components, intimacy, passion, and commitment are combined together. Of course, it is unrealistic to expect that the overwhelming passion present at the beginning of many relationships will continue forever. This type of passion lasts varying lengths of time, depending on the individual. Most consummate relationships have passion that comes and goes and varies in intensity.

Unfortunately, many people confuse infatuation or passion with love. After a period of time together, and as the passion naturally cools, they find themselves falling out of love. This is where the saying “I love you, but I’m not in love with you anymore” comes from. Many people end up going from one romantic love relationship to another, and wondering why they can’t find true love.

Sex

People may ask the question, well what about sex? Usually they are referring to what is commonly called buddy sex, or sport sex. These both refer to the act of sex for nothing more than the enjoyment of the act. No emotional involvement, no commitment, no strings. Although this seems cut and dry and mostly harmless if two consenting adults are involved, there are few complications that at least should be considered.

The first is that many people have difficulty separating sex and intimacy. Often feelings develop despite the belief that they never would.

Along these lines is the tendency of those that have been sexually abused to sexualize intimacy. This occurs when a friendship develops, secrets are shared, and a sexual attraction becomes apparent even though none had existed prior to the friendship getting closer. Because of the high prevalence of sexual abuse among addicts, and the nature of sharing on a personal level in the 12 step program and groups, this is a very real and serious risk. To begin buddy sex may just be a symptom of diseased thinking, and could prove very detrimental.

Another consideration is casual sex’s effect on self-esteem. Although most of us would like to believe we could have casual sex with no guilt or remorse, this is often not the case. Casual sex often goes against the morals and values that one was taught and may continue to carry. Any time that we behave in a manner that goes against our values, we experience guilt. Guilt can have a detrimental effect on self-esteem.

Relationships

Most people believe in a spiritual or magical aspect that causes them to fall in love, and enter into a relationship. Many believe in a soulmate that is waiting for them, and that fate can step in at any moment anywhere and deliver their soulmate to them. The words that follow are not attempts to de-mystify love and relationships, but are simply to keep individuals from falling victim to other aspects that can appear to be mystical.

Many people project qualities of their ideal mate onto the person that they are getting to know, and then confuse this with having found their soulmate. A projection is an internal ideal, thought process, or state that is attributed to another person. In other words, I know what I want and need my ideal mate to be, and I place these attributes and qualities into another individual. I observe this other persons behavior and relate it to my ideal. If I do not recognize that there is a projection (and rarely is a projection identified) I then believe I have found my soulmate. Later, when I know the person better, they begin to fall short of my expectations and ideals. Falling short of my expectations they cannot be the ideal, and often the search for my soulmate begins again. This pattern of disappointment will continue until an individual realizes the reality of the projection, and does not give into the fantasy that they have found their soulmate.

Another aspect of relationships is the bargaining process. This is not an external event, but an internal one. Each person entering a relationship is aware of the attributes that they bring to the table. These can include attractiveness, financial security, a quality of sweetness, intelligence, being a giving person, being attentive, considerate, good in bed, etc. Knowing what attributes’ one brings to the table, the individual wants a comparable partner. This does not mean that individuals necessarily want someone exactly as attractive, nice financially secure, etc. as we are. What it means I that we want an equal or better bargain in line with what we value. For example, how many very attractive women have you seen with menthe are financially secure? The man knows he brings financial well being and security and values an attractive trophy for a partner. The woman in this example knows she is very attractive and values financial security.

This example is simplified although it exists. The actual bargaining process is more complicated due to the amount of aspects to consider, but the example exemplifies the issue.

Insecurities and adventures

I don’t know how to start these things. Sometimes my “creativity” needs a little nudge in order to get started.

So I’ll just start it like this..

Ever since the “reset” button was pushed (refer back to a few posts ago if you’re not caught up), like 2 weeks ago, things have felt a little different in our relationship. Things have felt better. She seems a lot less exhausted, well, other than her body and mind going to shit from working the graveyard shift and sleeping all the next day, then goes back into the graveyard, and a little more calm. I’ve full on taken the roll of a stay at home dad. A typical day in the life of Adam consists of setting my alarm for 5am, showering and getting ready for the day, making coffee, waking the kids up for school at 6am, getting them dressed, brush their hair and teeth, feed them breakfast, be out the door at exactly 6:30 -because at 6:32, the freeway becomes mayhem- drive 30 miles which takes 54 minutes with the morning rush hour, drop Triston off first, then drop Ari off, drive 20 miles to Alvarado Parkway Institute so I can learn how to cope with existing in society, go to the gym right after, drive 30 minutes to get Triston from school at 2:05, go to Barnes and Noble to help him with his homework, drive to Ari’s school, take Triston to one of his appointments, occupational OR speech therapy, check the planner to see if Ari has any appointments that day, stop at the grocery store on the way home, buy a Bouquet of flowers to replace the dead ones, grab the boys a snack, take Bonnie’s clothes out from the dryer and do her a favor by folding them, then do Triston’s laundry, then do Ari’s laundry, then do my laundry, feed them dinner, give them baths, put their pajamas on, brush their hair and teeth, lay out their clothes for the next day, get them in bed, then clean the dishes, wipe the counter down, sweep the floor, feed the animals, walk the dog….. take a deep breath and fuck off on the couch with a candle burning, glass of wine, and re-runs of Breaking Bad.

No, I am not patting myself on the back. I put myself in manic mode because I know that the second I sit down, I will lose all motivation. And not to mention, I just really want to help my wife out with as much as I possibly can. Because I love her. With the way my emotions have been in the past 6 or so months, with the paranoia that she is out there with someone else betraying me and our marriage, I needed to put those demons away. Nothing good will ever come from it.

So, instead of being paranoid and watching every step she makes, I’m going to do the opposite and kill her with love, kindness, and compassion. She may take it or leave it, that isn’t up to me. But at the end of the day I take great pleasure knowing that I’m doing this for her.

Now, let’s talk about my insecurities and how they’ve become the new paranoia..

Yesterday we had a really great day. Together we brought the boys and our dog to the Del Mar dog beach. When we first moved to San Diego, everything was amazing. We were happy, we had each other, and our marriage was solid. Yesterday as we were standing on that boulder watching the waves crash under the big blue sky, I was reflecting on the people we used to be. I was nostalgic even though it’s only been a year and a half. At one point I grabbed her by the waist and put my arms around her and said “do you remember when we used to do this and enjoyed it before everything went to shit”?

First let me clarify that I do not believe she is cheating on me, those demons fucked off. But of course, the old demons were replaced by the new demons. Last night as we were laying in bed, I started to really get carried away with letting my brain take the midnight wheel. We are having financial issues this week. She brings in the only income and I can’t contribute at all. All I can think about was her and her coworkers. She works with people who really have their shit together and aren’t an emotional wreck like me.

“Why is she with me when there are other men out there who can offer her things that I cannot”

“She is a very strong and intelligent woman, and she works with intelligent men, and I’m just Adam. A dope from NJ with no direction”

“I am worthless to her and the kids”

“With her salary and with the salary of someone else, together they can buy the perfect house”

“I am holding her and the kids back”

“I should do the right thing and let her go”

Those were the voices that were going over and over again until I couldn’t take it anymore. I just had to get up and go on the other room. On the dark kitchen floor, I sat up against the cabinet under the sink with my head between my legs hysterically crying, and I couldn’t stop. I felt absolutely useless. My depression took another turn, and this one hurt. When the voices tell me the things I mentioned above, I’m not very nice to myself. I put myself down, I degrade myself. I’m too deep in that hole that I really do, with all my heart, believe these things about myself. I am her idiot husband.

This morning I came clean with her and confessed what was on my mind (and still is on my mind). What she said to me today is what she’s been saying to me for years…

“You can do what I do if you give it a shot”

-are you serious? Do you really believe that I can do what you do?

“Go to college, it’s never too late for college. You can do ANYTHING you want as long as you don’t sell yourself short”

-yeah but, I was a senior in high school 3 years in a row, I graduated when I was 20. When it comes to math, I can’t go beyond multiplication. I’m just not book smart, I never was.

“Well… you need to find that ONE thing that makes you happy, and pursue it. Do something with your photography skills”

-LOL “skills”??? I wouldn’t necessarily say that I have skills. I bought my camera back in 2010 and I couldn’t even begin to try to understand the settings. I have no idea what I’m doing.

“It doesn’t matter, that’ll eventually come. What you need to do is get the word out somehow and say that you are trying to get a portfolio together, I need people who are willing to let me shoot them for free”

-yeah but, what if I suck and the exposure is all fucked up or something? It’s embarrassing.

“Well, there are photography classes you can take 😁”

So this morning I finally took her advice and started looking at courses I could take. I know my wife. What makes her exceptionally cool is that I know she would support me 110%. Obviously, we need the money. However, if I find that one thing that would make me happy, and I stick with it, and can potentially make it a career some day, she would back me up. It would be different if I didn’t take chances and just sat in my ass all fucking day soaking in my own sorrow. Which is what I’ve been doing. How can anyone be attracted to THAT?

At this point in my life, depressed, anxious, paranoid, on the verge of losing my family, and standing on the edge.. at this point in my life why not just say YES to something and take that leap? Embrace it. I can’t tell you how much I fucking love the word EMBRACE. If I started coming home every evening, with a HUUUUGE stupid smile on my face, completely stoked about my day, things would get better for my family and myself. Even if I’m not getting paid a dime, I can guarantee that my wife Bonnie would enjoy being my wife again. When she and I first met in the winter of ’06, she would see that man again. It’s the only thing I can do with myself and just embrace whatever challenges come my way.

Thomas Edison was one of the most important humans to had ever walked this planet. He was a very inspirational man, and there are three quotes that have inspired for a long time, I just did nothing with it and ended up being a lazy insecure fucking nobody. He said:

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.”

And

” many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

So why couldn’t I just listen to him and go for it, even if I didn’t achieve my goals? Let’s fucking go and embrace this amazing world with curiosity, adventure, and heart!

Let’s go!

Dialectical thinking

Dialectical thinking refers to the ability to view issues from multiple perspectives and to arrive at the most economical and reasonable reconciliation or seemingly contradictory information and postures.

When we are extremely frightened or overwhelmed, we do not think clearly. So, learning to practice more balanced, or dialectical thinking, can help to dial down our level of anxiety, see the nuances in situations, and act towards others and ourselves in more effective ways.

I will be the first one to stand up and recognize that I am guilty of reacting to almost every time I feel my chest begin to fill up with anxiety like a balloon ready to pop from too much air. And in order to release that pressure before I explode, I behave in a way that has consequences. I speak my mind without really thinking about it first. And in the end, my only accomplishment was that I dug the hole even deeper, making it even more difficult to climb out of.

Now I’m not saying for a second that I’ve mastered the art of dialectical thinking. I still consider myself the ultimate fuckup whenever I react to any negative situation. My heart may be in the right place, but my thinking is too quick and doesn’t allow me take a step back and breath in through the nose and out through the mouth. And at the end of the day I’ll find myself back where I started, alone and regretting everything I’ve said or done. It can be pretty fucking embarrassing at times as well.

In one of the groups I go to, we are practicing coping skills, and this week we were talking about dialectical thinking. I can identify with every one of these, but I think number 19 stands out the most to me.

Dialectical thinking means that we can practice the beliefs that:

  1. A situation can be viewed in more than one way.
  2. A problem can be solved in more than one way.
  3. Two people can view the same situation in different ways, and both people can be right.
  4. Extreme terms such as “always’, “never”, and “either-or” can be substituted by “frequently”, “at times”, or “seldom”.
  5. We can tolerate confusion and not knowing absolutely everything about a situation.
  6. We can wish things can could stay the same and also acknowledge that change is inevitable.
  7. We can understand why someone might want us to do something and also say no to the request.
  8. We can enjoy being alone at times and also miss other peoples company.
  9. We can have fun at a party and also imagine how nice being at home reading a book might be.
  10. We can love someone and also be angry with them.
  11. We use phrases such as “I feel…” rather than “you are [mean, rude, etc.]…”
  12. We cannot know for certain what someone else is thinking or feeling. We look for clues and ask clarifying questions.
  13. We can be kind and also set appropriate and firm boundaries.
  14. We can accept ourselves as we are and also want to change some things about ourselves.
  15. We can not be in the mood to do something and be willing to do it anyway.
  16. We can question our ability to accomplish a task and be willing to give it a shot anyway.
  17. We can appreciate both the similarities and differences between ourselves and other people.
  18. We can validate why someone else might feel a certain way (i.e., enraged) and also tell them that hitting us is not acceptable.
  19. We can allow ourselves to experience a powerful emotion and also control our behavior.
  20. We can share certain secrets with people and keep other secrets to ourselves.
  21. We can spend time doing activities we need to do and also find time to do things we want to do.

After some time practicing dialectical thinking and acting, we strengthen our ability to:

  1. Anticipate various possible outcomes to a dilemma.
  2. Appreciate other peoples point of view.
  3. Refrain from impulsive words and behaviors.
  4. Make reasoned decisions, having weighed the associated pros and cons.
  5. Have patience, curiosity, tolerance, and humility.
  6. Have more harmonious relationships with other people and ourselves.

I know this is way easier said than done. I personally still have a lot of work to do. But this as given me a chance to slow it down a bit. It’s a challenge, but will lead to a much more positive outcome.

Horror Business

Horror movies. What’s the deal with horror movies? 🤷‍♂️

Nah, I’m not gonna try to do a Jerry Seinfeld bit. But I kind of want to talk about horror movies, and my fascination with them.

The very first horror flick I have ever seen, or that I can remember anyway, was the original Nightmare on Elm Street. I can’t remember if it came out in ‘84 or ‘85, so I was either 3 or 4 when I saw it. I was a new release. My parents and I were spending the night at my grandmas house in Lodi NJ. She had a really cool finished basement that I always loved being in when I was there. It was kind of eerie, reminded me of the the lounge from the Shining. My grandpa, who passed away in 1985, built this really cool bar down there, so maybe that’s where my Shining vibe comes from?

Anyway, It was a finished basement with a a table, reclining chairs, couches, end tables, lamps, ash trays, etc… It sounds like it should be a pretty scary place for a child to play with his Lincoln logs in, but what can I say? I’m fucked up I guess.

One of the couches turned into a king sized bed and that’s where I would sleep with my parents whenever we would stay over. So this one night when we were in bed, my parents turned on the tv thinking I was asleep. Elm Street was a new release and I was about to start on HBO. This must have been a Saturday because if my memory serves me well, HBO always released movies at 8:00pm on Saturdays. So there I was, pretending to be asleep as the music from the intro of Elm Street began. I looked at the TV and all I saw was this guy making a weird looking glove. Oh at this point I was so fucking in! I was intrigued. And that first kill scene where the girl ended up on the ceiling had my flinching and pulling the covers over my face…. but as I said, I was fucking in! I peeked my eyes out and watched this trail of blood go across the wall and ceiling. My parents finally noticed that I was awake, and my mom wanted to change the channel but my dad said no, he wanted to watch the rest of the movie because HE was fucking in! I don’t remember my exact words, but I begged and begged my mom to please keep it on, so she did. Parents in their early 20’s in the 80’s 🤷‍♂️ am I right? So there I was, amazed, terrified, intrigued, Johnny Depped 😆. I loved it. I really did love it. I became a horror film buff at the age of 3 or 4, and that had only been the first horror movie I’ve seen.

A few years later in ‘88 when I was 7, I was walking around the video store with my dad. It was Friday night movie night in the house. My dad picked one movie, I picked the other. I don’t remember which movie I had in my hand, it was probably goonies or gremlins knowing me. But then I passed a stand up pop up movie poster. My jaw dropped to the floor, eyes open wide, WHAT. IS. THIS. I ask. It looked like an Oompa Loompa, but with red hair, a little burn mark on his cheek, and holding up a knife that was red and had a squiggly white line on the blade. “DADDY! DADDY! LOOK!!!”, he takes a look as says “NO! Absolutely NO!” I begged and begged, knowing how much of a push over he is. And he caved. Child’s Play. I didn’t even watch the movie yet and just by looking at the poster I immediately knew that I was so fucking in! Child’s Play is coming home with us tonight. Chucky will haunt me in my dreams and I couldn’t wait. Again, I’m fucked up, what can I say 🤷‍♂️ so I dropped the goonies or gremlins on the floor and ran over to the new releases and BAM! Child’s Play is in my heart. Now don’t think that I went from Elm Street to Child’s Play, there were other movies in between, Halloween, Friday the 13th (which I also loved, but it didn’t have the charm and charisma that Freddy and Chucky had).

Next horror film that stole my heart and curiosity came out that same year I think. Now THIS one truly did scare the daylights out of me because it was a horrible way to die. The Blob. At the time, I didn’t know the Blob was a remake. So after seeing the Blob a couple dozen times, it was time to rent the original. The original was so different, but I wasn’t bored. I was intrigued. Dude, that diner scene was the greatest.

Fast forward many years into the future, I’ve seen some really great horror movies, and some really bad ones. I started to get tired of the predictable “jump scares” and needed something to really mess me up again. But there weren’t anything like that, until Saw. Saw is the most brilliant horror film I have ever seen. They didn’t introduce the mindset of Jigsaw until the 2nd film, but after watching the 2nd I knew that it was a different type of horror. It isn’t that far fetched, these types of things can actually happen. There is no supernatural villain. And the thing I loved so much about it is that you actually get into the mind of John Kramer. And for a moment, you kind of feel sorry for the guy. You want to know more about his origins, you even want to see him survive even though you don’t want him to win. It’s weird, but brilliant.

I’m waiting for a new genre of horror to come. I can’t wait to see what’s ahead in the 20’s… the 2020’s, that’s so weird to say 😯

Smiling, it fucking works!

When you’re extraordinarily polite to the waitress and bombard her with “yes ma’am” and “thank you”, followed by a charming smile, you’re more than likely going to receive the bill with a heart around the total. I’m going to be mindful today and think about the total with a heart around it, I’m going to think about it all day. I needed this.

☠️🖤☠️

Drugs drugs drugs drugs drugs drugs drugs etc…

“Excuse me Mr. psychiatrist, but there seems to be a problem with the medication you prescribed to me 4 months ago. It seems as if, and correct me if I’m wrong, that the Wellbutrin and the Lamictal is having the opposite effect. Again, correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe to be even more depressed than I was before. Thoughts?”

Mr. Psychiatrist- “hmm, that’s very interesting. I’ll tell you what, instead of 150mg of the Wellbutrin, I am going to bump it up to 300. And the same for the 150mg of Lamictal, let’s go to 300 with that one as well.”

“So you’re bumping up my meds? Do you think that’s a good idea?”

Mr. Psychiatrist- “LOL, we’ll see… I’m sure everything will work out 🤙”

Doctors 🤷‍♂️, am I right?

The stars can’t shine without darkness

I am stealing this story from a Facebook post that my wife posted earlier this week. I promise to keep my stories original and from my own personal heart. But this one right here touched my soul. It’s about love, challenges, heartache, and the Bouncing Souls. Oh, and speaking of the souls, on the bottom of this post is a screenshot of the text Bonnie mentions in her story.

-Adam

“Last night I started dating this guy…

This may be confusing to those of you who know that I have been a married woman for almost 11 years now, but allow me to explain. In the spirit of being transparent I am going to share with you a glimpse of a REAL life love story. It isn’t pretty. It isn’t wrapped up neatly in a bow…in fact, at times it’s a complete and utter mess.

I would like to start by saying that mental illness is the devil. And I mean this with all my heart. It destroys not only the person who has it, but it destroys relationships and families as well. Adam has recently opened up publicly about his diagnosis which is why I feel comfortable sharing this.

The last few months have been a rollercoaster of emotions, highs and lows, ups and downs, laughter and tears. 2 steps forward, 1 step back…I suppose it’s all par for the course though. No one said it would be easy.

This being said, on Monday night I packed my bags, left my wedding rings on the dresser, and ran away from home…I found a quaint little Air BnB in Ramona on a horse farm where I spent the week reflecting on my marriage and what I wanted the future to bring. While I was gone, Adam also had time to reflect…I wish that I could say that we’ve come up with a perfect plan, one that is guaranteed not to fail, but we haven’t.

What we have concluded though is this…one thing we have never denied is that WE LOVE EACH OTHER. Our love may not be the same as it was 13 years ago, and I don’t necessarily think that is a bad thing because WE aren’t the same as we were 13 years ago, the dynamic of our relationship has changed, we have responsibilities now, bigger bills to pay, and children who need our constant and undivided attention. It’s a different kind of love for sure, but certainly not less of a love.

So what are we going to do to repair the damage that this disease has caused? Are we too far gone or is there a light at the end of this tunnel? I suppose only time will tell, but I will say this…after last night I was able to see that the hopeless romantic I married 10 years ago is still there.

The Bouncing Souls have always been a major inspiration in our marriage. We met at a Bouncing Souls show in January 2006…A show in which I may or may not have stalked Adam and declared to make him mine that night…that following December the Souls played at the House of Blues in Atlantic City…at the time my favorite song was “Lean on Sheena” (a cover song that the Souls cover oh so perfectly)…much to my surprise in the middle of the show an announcement was made by Greg (lead singer from the Souls) as he directed the crowd’s attention to Adam by saying, ” this next song is for our friends, Bonnie and Adam, who are about to share a very special moment…” surrounded by 2300 strangers (and a group of our closest friends/family) Adam slipped a ring on my finger as the band led into my favorite song. 17 months later we were married.

Last night the Bouncing Souls came to San Diego…maybe it was destiny, but as always their timing was perfect. We had friends here visiting from AZ so despite my mood being in a slight funk from the events that took place earlier this week, I decided to still go to the show and make the best of it.

Well it turns out that Adam had been texting Pete from the Souls all day long leading up to the show…and once again, a subtle but sweet dedication was made by the Bouncing Souls for Adam and I as they led into my song “Lean on Sheena.”

Yes, that hopeless romantic I married 10 years ago is still in there…somewhere.

We have declared that this disease will NOT define Adam, and it WILL NOT tear this family apart. Although I am still not ready to put my wedding rings back on…this does not mean that we are getting divorced and we are not separated, we are simply hitting the restart button on our marriage. Some of you may notice an Enzo band on my ring finger when you see me next…this is a “place holder” for when I am ready to put the real ones back on but for right now…I am back to dating the man I fell in love with 13 years ago. Last night was the perfect 1st date…here’s to many more!

Cheers, friends! Thanks for listening.”

🖤♥️🎶♥️🖤

“I saw you from across the street today

My heart skipped a beat today

Reminding me of those lost days

And glory never fades

Years passed by and you remind me

Those things will always find me

Young hearts are made of gold that never fades away

Never fades, fades away

I heard someone say

That nothing gold can stay

But there’s a love in all our souls

And it shines like gold”

-The Bouncing Souls

Life, Lust, Love, and the Devil

Thank you for taking an interest and checking my world out. However, this site is still under construction and I have not written any blogs yet. I am new at the world of blogging and I can’t wait to be completely honest and ridiculously vulnerable with you and do not tend to leave anything out. My purpose is to talk about 100% of my personal experiences, adventures, movies, music, punk rock, mindfulness, lust, and my struggles as a newly diagnosed bipolar superhero. Oh, and I love to swear, a lot. Personally, I strongly believe that the word ‘fuck’ is a powerful way of staying authentic. Some may disagree, and that’s totally cool if you do, but I also know that there are people out there in this world who also have a mouth as loud as me.

Another thing about me…. I am a non-believer of a higher power. Well, I DO believe in a higher power, but it isn’t what you think it is. I can’t wait to talk about my beliefs at another time. I promise though, I believe that you will find my beliefs to be positive and NOT negative. You don’t have to share my beliefs, all I do is ask you to be respectful. On that note, I will never mock your faith. I will listen, and I will appreciate that we live in a country that allows us to believe in anything we choose to believe in. Also, I don’t care if if you’re religious , non-religious, gay, straight, transgender, unsure, male, female, what your race is, political party, who you voted for (although, I may or may not get into politics every now and again, but with respect to all parties).

Most of all, my way of thinking is extraordinarily unorganized, loud, fast-paced, unusual, rad. My brain is always on overdrive and I can’t wait to bring it from my heart to this computer.

Stay tuned for complete chaos..

Cheers! From San Diego

Adam

❤️⚡️❤️